Ahhh- I don't want to be in a room trapped with fire burning at the door! The only thing that I would change and look out for is- Check some of your spellings, I saw that,'Went' was spelt wrong once. And I would use some more describing words in some places. But I really enjoyed reading it! Well done!
I bet you're having a great time now it's the Easter holidays! Really it's my bed time but I'm just going to finish commenting on your post and then head off.
I love your story, and I got to the end and wanted to know if your person found another route or if they were trapped. I liked that you used good terms to talk about the power plant and referred to your work area as "my sector" - it sounds very official!
Spellings wise you've made the changed you needed to do (I know I sometimes spell words wrong and just have to cross them out and carry on).
Have a great holiday from school and don't eat too much chocolate!
Hannah (team 100WC)
P.s. I also liked seeing a handwritten version - I think that's a really good idea!
Ahhh- I don't want to be in a room trapped with fire burning at the door! The only thing that I would change and look out for is- Check some of your spellings, I saw that,'Went' was spelt wrong once. And I would use some more describing words in some places. But I really enjoyed reading it! Well done!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed that 100wc Dylan, there was not one place where you missed out a fullstop.
ReplyDeleteI would say - try to make it a bot neater, there was alot of crossing out in there!
The best 100wc that you've done - in my opinion!
Hey Dylan
ReplyDeleteIt's Hannah here from Team 100WC.
I bet you're having a great time now it's the Easter holidays! Really it's my bed time but I'm just going to finish commenting on your post and then head off.
I love your story, and I got to the end and wanted to know if your person found another route or if they were trapped. I liked that you used good terms to talk about the power plant and referred to your work area as "my sector" - it sounds very official!
Spellings wise you've made the changed you needed to do (I know I sometimes spell words wrong and just have to cross them out and carry on).
Have a great holiday from school and don't eat too much chocolate!
Hannah (team 100WC)
P.s. I also liked seeing a handwritten version - I think that's a really good idea!
Whats a 'handwritten version'?
DeleteAs in written by hand, not typed up! :-)
Deletehe dosent find a route out
DeleteThank you so much for commenting on my blog post about Jokes, Dylan. It meant a lot to me.
ReplyDelete